Bipolar Journey

I have been really pleased so far with my medication combination.  It has brought my mood up and has helped me to balance out my emotions.  Before, I was one big anxious and depressed soul that could not find relief.  The last medicine change left me very tired and groggy.  I felt like I was in a fog.  It’s funny the medicine is supposed to take away the rain cloud hanging over our heads, but often times it creates one.  So far there hasn’t been any jittery feelings.  Those increase my battle with anxiety.  I have not had nausea.  Which is such a blessing.  Most importantly, I have not gained weight.  I have been watching what I eat.  With my last medication I had an increase of about 20 pounds.

I only have a couple of problems.  One I have is with my memory.  It is a side effect to two of my medications.  I have forgotten dates, gotten dates confused, and have been late to several
appointments.  I can’t remember words.  I will be talking and I know what I want to say, but I can’t get the word to come to mind.  That is very frustrating.  I get self-conscious about and wonder if other people notice it.  Finally my creative writing is now non-existent.  I think this is the hardest for me to accept.  I hope it will return.  It has met so many needs in my life and I feel really good about myself when I am writing.

I guess all things considered I should be grateful for the increase in mood and decrease in depression and anxiety.  I am obsessive, perfection is something I long for.  I am learning to be content in where I am.