This last episode appears to be slowly fading. Sometimes I feel a little depressed and anxious but mostly I am beginning to find pleasure in my activities. It is so nice. There is a certain amount of anxiety and sadness that surrounds all of us. Not completely there and accepting that I will always have a little more unwanted feelings as the average person, I want to say goodbye to this episode.
I spend a lot of time worrying about myself and many moments doing introspection. I try to think of others and consider their needs. I always notice when I start becoming more healthy, I will begin to be interested in others around me. This too, is also nice.
Stay healthy is now my goal. I always hope that my recent episode is really the last one. Never having another panic attack? Wow, that would be an unmeasurable sense of peace.
The journey continues.
Lizzie
I find that when I’m in a better mind set I’m able to move my thoughts and actions from self to others too. I’m so glad that you’re feeling better.
I am happy to say that it has been several months since my last panic attack. Between the meds and therapy I am praying that I have seen an end to them…I know exactly what you mean.
I’ve been on and off with my current ex-boyfriend for 3 years. Everything goes fine for a while, then he has this break down where he FLIPS out on me over something small. But it’s the biggest fight ever. Always over the phone. His anger is unbelievable and he says the most hurtful things. In midst of screaming these things, he tells me I need to stop taking it to heart because I should know he doesn’t mean the things he says he’s just really mad. He doesn’t have many friends….his best friend is a 56 year old guy. My boyfriend is almost 28. I’m almost 24. He has an extremely stressful job- he’s a correctional officer at the biggest prison in NY state.
One day he can tell me I’m the best girlfriend ever, how happy he is, how in love with me he is, then when he flips, he puts me down to no end and we end up breaking up. A month or so goes by and we get back together. It’s a cycle that has happened at least 8 times. When we break up he does immature things like take me off his myspace and add his ex-girlfriend when he knows it will hurt me, add a bunch of losers that I know he doesn’t like he just wants to look like he has friends. He cuts me off completely. He acts like I did something horrible. Like I betrayed him or cheated on him. I didn’t do anything to deserve this treatment, u know?
He’s a very stubborn guy. I think the reason he has only his best friend, his mom, and his little brother in his life is because he doesn’t want to hear that he has a problem. He’s miserable and blames it on everything but himself. I can’t understand why he does this to me, especially when this last time we promised no more messing around, this was it, we were going to make it work because we loved each other.
My grandmother suggested I call his mother and talk to her about it. Explain that I think something is wrong. I called and left a message, but now I’m nervous for when she calls back, in case she tells me she just thinks we’re not meant to be together and he doesn’t love me anymore!
Does this behavior sound like bipolar or something like it? I mean, I’m not a perfect girlfriend, but I never go out, I don’t have guy friends, we hardly fight when he’s normal. Then about 2 weeks before he flips out it builds up for about 2 weeks, I can feel it.
He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, then he says he hates my f*ing guts sometimes.
What should I do?